Mission Accomplished: New Tattoo

This is my new tattoo which I had done 10 days ago and is still healing. To me it represents the two sides of my personality, intertwined, yet not connected. It also shows my heart which has been broken many times, yet is still partially intact. They are not meant to be snakes, but even that connotation is fine (although I was not born in the year of the snakes).

I knew I wanted something small and on my ankle, but wasn't sure what to have. Somehow the idea of a butterfly or bird just didn't do it for me. My friend Bev came with me supposedly to nudge me into it, but I think she was just so inquisitive, she couldn't bear not to. We looked at all the posters on the walls and scanned at least 6 scrapbooks filled with all sorts of wierd, wonderful and downright scary tattoos, and still I couldn't decide. There were symbols for Aquarians (usually quite drab with a few wavey lines for 'water'). There were Japanese squiggles and Samurai wiggles, devils, red hearts and wilting petals. It was mind boggling. The jolly, red -faced, hairy, chubby tattooist was patiently waiting, telling me that I would know as soon as I saw the right one. And I did. This one was perfect. It was not Satanic ( I checked). It was interesting, small enough to look good on an ankle, and could be interpreted differently by anyone who noticed it. The whole process only took about 15 minutes and, although painful, was entertaining as well, with the three of us chatting away happily while Bev blanched and cringed beside me. All in all, a most satisfying day out.

Tangent: Friends, old and new

Me and Rayna - South Africa - December 1984





Being an Aquarian, which is known as the 'friendship' sign of the zodiac, I find it very easy to make friends. Or should I say, I seem to 'collect' people who consider themselves my friends, like others collect stamps or theatre programmes.

Everyone is drawn to my cheery nature, my enthusiasm, my youthfulness and my energy (their words, not mine), as well as my 'always there for you' personality. I am a real chatterbox who loves the odd bit of gossip; okay, okay, I love the whole bit of gossip.

Mostly, I suppose, I rely on the 'when you laugh, the whole world laughs with you, when you cry, you cry alone!' principle, and this makes me a people magnet, specially those who need to cry and cry and cry. They get some sort of internal message that I provide a good 'shoulder' for anyone and everyone.

But as far as considering them my friends, there are very very few.

My 'old' friends are not those old in age, but in longevity of friendship. I met Priscilla (who I've mentioned before) when I was 4 and she 5. They lived in the house behind us and it was 'like' at first sight, and 55 years later, we are still very much 'in like' with each other.

My other dear friend, Rayna, who I met at 20, is still my dear friend after 40 years. I shared a flat with her the year I started teaching and we used to talk and giggle late into the night. We have recently re-connected after many years, and it's the same as back in 1969.

Nowadays I seem to be drawn to the younger generation, making friends with Christine in Kuwait, she at 30, me at nearly 50, and now I have a new 'best' friend, Lorraine, she at 30, me at nearly 60.

I find it exceedingly hard to keep 'floating' acquaintances for too long. They are linked to me usually by rather a weak, common link, e.g. work, or an art course or a short holiday meeting. But, when I do make a true friend, it is for life.

Maybe it's because most of us live continents apart from each other, that we have remained friends.

My definition of a good friend is:
someone who is as interested in me, as I am in her.
someone who says she cares about me and means it.
someone I feel I could ring in the middle of the night if I were in trouble and she would drop everything and come.

So, here's to you, Cilla, Rayna, Chris and Bev! Quality, not quantity!




Me and Rayna - London - December 2006

Twelve: Fall in love again

Not fall in lust, I've done that more times than you've had breakfast.

No, rather that dizzy, dazy, whirly, whooshy, whippy, wonderful 'falling' in love.

Why is it called 'falling'?

I reckon it's because you do 'fall'.....from a huge height. You lose all balance, all control, all sense of what's right or wrong, what's good or bad, what's true or untrue. Often it can be like being in a dream, a very satisfying one or a frighteningly nightmarish one.

Falling in love is not all 'strawberries and cream', rather much more like a mixture between 'Romeo and Juliet' and 'Beauty and the Beast'.

Notwithstanding this, it is quite the most perfectly amazing feeling in the whole wide world, totally insanity that can last for an hour, a day, a week or even longer ( I don't think!)

That's the opposite side of my personality peeping through.
Being an Aquarian. I see life through one rose-coloured side of my glasses, a total 'hollywood' view, but through the other side of my 'grey -coloured' glasses I see the 'life's a bitch and then you die' view.

Part of me adores the ' falling in love' stage, where nothing can go wrong. That heart hammering, ribs knocking, sandpapery mouth, earthquakey knees and croaky voice type of love. You feel you can't breathe, that unless that other person is with you 24/7 you might surely die, and (an extra bonus) you go completely off your food and start to look like Naomi Campbell.

God, how I love that bit - not only the Naomi Campbell bit- the whole megillah!
I have loved several times in my life, as I am an 'all or nothing' sort, but I have only really 'fallen' in love three times.


Soul mates.

Aha now that's a completely different kettle of fish.

I thought one of my three was, he wasn't.

I knew one of my three wasn't, he wasn't.

I knew one of my three was and he felt it too, but we did not end up together!

Love........shmuv......

Seven: Relish my 'joie de vivre'

''You are a great example of 'joie de vivre'.'' This was the inscription in a book you gave me in December 1991. I had not considered this to be so until that point, but instinctively I knew you were right.


Previously I had always believed it was my inimitable Aquarianness that defined who I was. I knew that I was bursting with an extreme emotion needing to get out, and whenever life kicked me in the shins, I would somehow get up again and stagger on using this inner 'something', but having no name for it. All my life I knew I was different and didn't fit in with the rest of my clan.

When I was about 5 or 6 I woke my brother up in the middle of the night and took him outside to sit on the 'stoep' (porch) to look at the moon. My mother woke up and came looking for us and there we were, oblivious to all around us. I remember sitting on that step with my hand carelessly draped round my little brother's shoulders, and I remember her fury.

This fury was going to be unleashed upon me many times in the next dozen years. I took my brother to 'town' which was about 10 blocks from our house, and was discovered by my very stern, very angry mother, who then gave me a thrashing right there and then to my utter embarrassment of course. Why couldn't she understand my curiosity, my thirst for life, my need to be me?

I was always either acting and singing or playing 'school school' with the neighbourhood kids. I would strut up and down in our makeshift classroom wielding my big stick and admonishing them much as my own mother had admonished me.

My best friends, Priscilla (Cilla) and Cynthia (Cinny) lived round the corner and we were always in each other's homes. One very hot afternoon we were carrying some eggs from my house to theirs to bake a cake (aged about 13) when one of the eggs fell out of the bowl and landed on the sandy path. We started laughing, when along came three boys on their bikes. The first one asked us 'what are you doing?' and I answered without a moment's hesitation and a straight face, 'frying an egg'. This only made us laugh louder and longer.

I loved and still do love anything unusual. When I get a present I am more interested in the wrapping than the actual gift. When I buy something I am more interested in what I didn't buy than what I did buy. And through all the many many tears that life has cost me, I have always managed to 'pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.'

So, thank you for that particular inscription in my book and I promise I will continue to relish that 'joie de vivre'.