Wednesday, 1 August 2007

Tangent: Feeling 'high'

No, not from drugs, or alcohol, music or sex. I feel 'high' from fasting. Am on my fourth day, and have been through the 'mill', with headaches, nausea, dizziness, stomach aches, sleeplessness, anziety and forgetfulness. I have had nightmares, worse than ever before, and woken up sweating, yet shivering at the same time.

BUT: 1.) My itchy arms, legs and neck are less itchy today.
2.) I am not burping today.
3.) I don't have heartburn today.
4.) My stomach feels lighter.
5.) I've lost 3 pounds (weight, not money).
6.) I am feeling more optimistic than I've felt for a while.

This is a long road, and I will be on it for a good while yet, but there is a faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

I try to be a 'health foodnik' when I can. This is after years of being an anorexic, bulimic, overeater etc etc. I call myself a 'recovering' bulimic, and try to 'eat to live, not live to eat'.
With recurring liver problems, high cholesterol, lousy family genes resulting in deaths from heart attcks and cancer, I can't afford to ignore the fact that 'you are what you eat'.

BUT: it takes discipline and fortitude and a very strong mental attitude.

I have fasted before, and often do just a fruit day, ending with a simple meal. But it's many years since I did this seriously and so determinedly.

This is a painting I did of Mark a few years ago, which I was going to call 'The morning after the night before', but decided on 'Love your liver'.

I am trying to 'love my liver' this week.