Tangent: showing more paintings

During my painting 'phase', I tried to do some flowers. They were all copied from arrangements I had in vases at one time or another. I am definitely not fond of 'flower' art in any form. I find it vapid and samey-samey. So this was quite an exploration for me.

The first one was a pot of pink geraniums and I wasn't very
satisfied with the end result ( but then maybe no painter ever is).

Then I did the white one, looking down on it ( sort of). And I definitely preferred the outcome.

Lastly ( I only ever painted three) I copied a lovely bouquet that my husband had given me for an Anniversary or Birthday. And I absolutely loved the final picture.

So much so, that it hangs in my house today, the only one of my paintings that does.

Tangent: Time to reflect

Summer's here at last, after months of inclement weather. We always moan about the weather here in England, it is an accepted daily topic. There is a saying here, ' If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes!'

Now is the time to spend cool evenings (when the humidity is low) in the garden, in calm reflection. About the past, about today, about tomorrow. I get very wound up in every detail of my life, always have, always will. Nothing is just 'black or white' to me, rather too many shades of grey. I also have this dual personality( not 'the three faces of Eve' type), just two completely different sides. One is soppy and sentimental, romantic and giving. The other is practical, realistic, cynical, bitter and hard.

When I am wrestling with a mental problem ( the physical ones are easier to deal with), it takes over my being. I 'eat, sleep, feel and nag it ' until I reach some sort of solution. I have a very strong premiss that I live by, 'When in doubt, say 'no'. This has been my mantra for many years and it works for me. If something doesn't feel right, I will know as it will niggle at me, will keep me awake at night, will enter my mind as soon as I open my eyes, will come into my thoughts during my working day, will haunt me......until I reach a decision. Then it all vanishes 'in the blink of an eye'.

When one is fasting, one's mind becomes ultra ultra clear, everything fits into it's own compartment, memories flit in and out, and it becomes quite an enjoyable experience to encounter. There are also the negative thoughts looming on the horizon, and these have to be dealt with too.

As I sit quietly in my garden, I reminisce, I ruminate and I reaffirm.

Congratulations

Congratulations.

You're engaged.

Be happy.

Always.

Twenty-seven: My first grandchild

Steve, 4 months, always laughing.

Steve, 10 months, very curious.

.

Mark, 4 weeks, looking puzzled.

Mark,22 months, mischievous as usual.

I won't have a grandchild

before 60, but hopefully soon therafter.

Tangent:Disgusting

I found out yesterday that the family who live about six houses from us have 9 cats, 3 big dogs, 3 lizards and 2 snakes.

That's not all, there are 3 fat sons and one rather emaciated looking daughter ( as well as the parents).

That's not all, they never ever let the cats out as they will stray ( I thought that's what cats are supposed to do!)

Where the hell do they all sleep? It's a three bedroom house like ours.

Can you imagine the smell?

I certainly won't be popping in to ask for a cup of sugar, what with my cat phobia, that's without the snakes!

I do like lizards though, specially the West African ones, huge, brightly coloured and always in your homes- to eat the other horrid little insects that creep into your lives. They walk past you, sit on your ceilings and wander through the hot humid dusty streets. They are truly relaxed in their milieu.

Twenty-six: Show more paintings

This was also done in 2003, when I did most of my painting. I gave it the title 'your face or mine?'.

But after reading 'Illustration Friday' often in the past few weeks, I thought to myself that maybe I could post some of my art there too.

This week's theme is 'Moon' and I see this moon looking down at: 'your face - or mine'

Tangent: Feeling 'high'

No, not from drugs, or alcohol, music or sex. I feel 'high' from fasting. Am on my fourth day, and have been through the 'mill', with headaches, nausea, dizziness, stomach aches, sleeplessness, anziety and forgetfulness. I have had nightmares, worse than ever before, and woken up sweating, yet shivering at the same time.

BUT: 1.) My itchy arms, legs and neck are less itchy today.
2.) I am not burping today.
3.) I don't have heartburn today.
4.) My stomach feels lighter.
5.) I've lost 3 pounds (weight, not money).
6.) I am feeling more optimistic than I've felt for a while.

This is a long road, and I will be on it for a good while yet, but there is a faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

I try to be a 'health foodnik' when I can. This is after years of being an anorexic, bulimic, overeater etc etc. I call myself a 'recovering' bulimic, and try to 'eat to live, not live to eat'.
With recurring liver problems, high cholesterol, lousy family genes resulting in deaths from heart attcks and cancer, I can't afford to ignore the fact that 'you are what you eat'.

BUT: it takes discipline and fortitude and a very strong mental attitude.

I have fasted before, and often do just a fruit day, ending with a simple meal. But it's many years since I did this seriously and so determinedly.



This is a painting I did of Mark a few years ago, which I was going to call 'The morning after the night before', but decided on 'Love your liver'.



I am trying to 'love my liver' this week.